I missed my bus to Whangarei in the morning and it was like something had died. I collapsed on a park bench along Queen Street sobbing. I had tears streaming down my face, snot dripping out my nose and my shoulders were uncontrollably shaking. I was angry at myself for being late and going to the wrong bus stop and I think I was mainly mourning for the lost sleep I could’ve gotten. It was 7:30AM.
I’m not a morning person and that’s actually true. I’m not saying that to be cool or to fit in. There are a small percentage who are in fact morning people, a small percentage who are night owls and a larger percentage of the population are inbetweeners. They can adapt to waking up early, and they can adapt to going to sleep late. I do my best work in the evenings and I should not exist before 8:30AM and that is a fact.
But anyway, back to crying on Queen St. You know how when something kinda shitty happens and you overreact and everyone says to you, “oh my god you know there are worse things happening to these people” and “oh wow you missed a bus for your 2 day holiday what an “awful” problem to have.” (Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm...)
Well my brain does that to me constantly. Constantly making myself feel guilty. Because I’ve seen those horrible things that happen to other people. I have the hugest empathetic and sympathetic heart. I make myself sick caring about other people’s problems and I somehow end up getting so invested in thoughts, concerns, issues and dramas that people tell me that I stop at almost nothing to help. Borderline creepy right? But I just want to help everyone. I think I’ve always been like that.
When it comes to yourself though it’s easy to see things as signs to not do something. Missing the bus = a sign to not take 2 days off. Missing the bus = a sign you’re not ready to go on another overseas adventure. Missing the bus = a sign you should pack up and move back to your parents house and give up and give in.
I cried for maybe twenty minutes and during that time I had a full blown counselling session inside my own brain and called my Mum like 4 times. (It takes a lot of strength to be my parents and for that I am entirely grateful!) I came out the other side and yeah no one died. I was due for a meltdown and the super moon in Gemini of course had something to do with it.
You know, the most important thing is to just feel what you’re feeling and move through it. I obviously needed to react to that to understand some of the bigger issues in my life currently and begin to work through those. You feel what you feel and feeling is never wrong.
I managed to take one full day off and one half day off and it was glorious. Take a look at some of the highlights:
A field that made me think Bella and Edward from Twilight were gonna jump out at any given moment
I am not afraid of heights but I'm not particularly into swing bridges...
The Whangarei Falls. This walk we have just seen photos of is the walk from the A H Reed Memorial Park to the Falls
14m high in the trees in this little bridge path. It's called the Canopy Walk. Highly recommend!
Stand Up Paddle boarding with our friend Tim from Yoga Fire NZ at Karewarewa Bay was the most awesome experience! Something I have always wanted to do!
SUP Yoga is pure magic. Like actually. I've never felt so connected to everything than in this moment. And to experience it with my best friend Ilia was very cool. I'm obsessed! I want more! Will have to find some classes this summer in Sydney...
Everyone needs that awkward friend who falls in aye
Good night Northland x
I'm back in Auckland now desperately trying to learn a script for tonight's gig. I'm still in shock that it is 7th of December and that I leave for Sydney next week and I don't get a proper break now until the first week of February. Ahhh!
But for now, thank you for reading these rambling musings from me, and I can’t wait to share all the exciting and perhaps not so exciting things to happen this summer!
See you soon x